disintegrate

rate

i dont like being forgettable.
maybe i am thinking too much.
i just wish people could see the real me inside.

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vcf was good yesterday. God impressed alot on me.
yes, i have to work on my salvation.
work in me so that i can work in others.
Hold on to me and never let go.
only YOU know why things are like that right now.
i will continue to press on.

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when mountains fall, i will stand
by the power of your hands
and in your heart of hearts i will dwell
and that my soul knows very well

i had a pretty busy week. School was hectic as usual. i have really weird and intelligent people in my tutorial classes. i dont know how i am going to get use to this kind of school lifestyle. i miss having a class where we all take the same subjects. :/
but i thank God for lynn, june, farisa and mindy. It is comforting to know that you have friends in most of your lectures.

june is right. We cant make really good friends in NUS when you change your lectures/classes every 4 months. we have to hold on to who we have right now and treasure them. (:

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had cg chalet over the weekend. it was two really fun nights. it was a time of great bonding for the 7 of us. the late nights mahjong games, grass and time talking to each other will be remembered always. time has changed and we all have our different friends in church but i am glad that we are all willing to come together and just update each other about our lives. :/

managed to catch up with the KEYFAMILY today. i havent seen them for one month and i am glad we could find time to meet up. going to meet up and catch up with Ruth on tuesday. things will be different when ruth leaves soon and it is saddening. i really have to spend more time with her. (:

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Name above name
worthy of all praise
my heart will sing how great is our God

yeah. i passed my driving test. :D

my parents let me drive them around after that. HAHA. it is amazing how fast this news has spread around my friends. i get unexpected msgs asking me to drive them around soon. HAHA.

I DONT WANT TO BECOME A PERSONAL CHAUFFEUR!

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my driving test is on wednesday. Argh. i have been having driving lessons for the past few days and i think i am going to cry soon. HAHA. i knocked down the pole while doing parellel parking. i shouldnt be making a mistake by now. And i suck at doing emergency breaking. i keep stepping on the clutch along with the brake. Oops. :/

i need to step up on my game now. i am going to make full use of my 2 hours driving lesson today. Yeah. :)

listening to their 3rd album now. i think it is their worst album ever. But maybe after listening to a couple more times, the songs will get better. :)

first round of tutorials started yesterday. i should really look at the brighter side of life. i am really blessed with friends among me. We may not be close but i am glad that i have friends in almost all my tutorials and lectures.

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For YOU to work in me, i must first say I indeed cant do anything But HE can. If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

our new theme song : wo men ! :D

it is so apt. i really thank God for the two of you. you know who you are. :)

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another week gone. it is time to get down and start studying already. HAHA.
i got all my tutorial timeslots that i wanted except one.
but i am really thankful anyway.
there is a purpose on why i have to go to this class alone.

i've been up since 9 am and i have been starting at the computer for the past 7 hours. i think i am going to puke. You see, we have to ballot for our tutorials and the whole system is screwed up now. It keeps crashing and no one is able to go in at all. the last i heard, the ballot will extend till 6 am tml. That is bad because if i dont get it done by tonight, i have to stay up late to do it. Argh. :/

i seriously hate the system. BOO!

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Into Your hands, i commit again.
Let go, Let God.

i dont know why am i crying so badly. Just when things got better, another problem has surfaced.

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i really dont know what to say anymore.

argh.

i am caught up in a dilemma. i got offered a place at eusoff hall but i dont know if i am really willing to stay in hostel. i dont know what is stopping me and i cant put my finger down on what it is. maybe the main reason is that i dont want to play badminton for eusoff hall. i love the game but somehow i just want a change. i really dont want to be in the same cca that i have been stuck to for the past 9 years.

and it is not as if they will allow me to do that. who would want a person to play something that she is not good at?

so right now, i really dont know.

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"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, " and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Jerimiah 29:12-14

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Show me YOUR way, Lord.

i am in love with my geography lecturer. :D

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thank God for the first week of lectures. i will survive even as the workload starts to increase. it is amazing what God can do when you just let Him take control. let me fall back on your grace that has brought me here. (:

it sucks when your friend is hurting and yet you dont know how to console her.
the right words seem useless and everything you say seems pointless.
but i know the only thing i have to do now is to listen and give her the support she needs.

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it is so easy for us to doubt God and what His purpose for us is.
but trust is surpassing all doubts of your own and learning to rely on something you cant see yet something that you believe in.
Make me stronger and work in me.

the spirit of sonship. i yearn for that now. Mould me more like YOU, Lord. (:

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strike a balance. - experiencing YOU and the WORD.

argh. i thought that lessons will start at ten today but it turned out that i made a mistake and it starts at 12! NOW I AM FULLY AWAKE and i dont know what to do. there is no point going back to sleep because i have to leave in one hour's time anyway.
:/

note aside. it was a great night yesterday. i will compromise my sleep anytime for a time of worshipping God. He really ministered to me yesterday. it is a brand new start again and i am ready for anything now. (:

a great renewal yesterday. (: there was no holding back. i just wanted to be in YOUR presence. :D

He knows me so that i can know Him.

i am losing my voice again. But it is for Him and not for myself. i am going to give it my best for HIM. :)

yeahyeahyeah. i got all my modules already. i really hope i made the right decision of taking jap studies over sociology. it is time to embrace the new school life and work hard. (:

Module Code : SW1101E
Module Title: INTRODUCTION TO SOCIAL WORK

Module Code : GEK1002
Module Title: INTRODUCTION TO JAPANESE STUDIES

Module Code : EL1101E
Module Title: THE NATURE OF LANGUAGE

Module Code : GE1101E
Module Title: PLACE, ENVIRONMENT AND SOCIETY

Module Code : PS1101E
Module Title: INTRODUCTION TO POLITICAL SCIENCE

i've been sick for the past two days and i lost my voice. HAHA. i am praying that i will be okay on sat and sunday. i'm so thankful and i want to commit everything back to YOU. :D

ooooh! i am super high now! i found his friendster's account. HAHAHA.

in the midst of the crazy bidding , i thank God i found something that made me happy. (:

so in You i trust,
please come and i will let you lead.
it is time for You to take control.
Let go, Let God.